The title invariably reminds us of Alcohol, cigarrettes, Drugs and all the probable material stuff that a person can get addicted to. But if we choose to observe carefully, life is full of subtle addictions that can sometimes be more damaging than smoke and booze. I am speaking of an addiction which is equally fatal, if not more, and that is an addiction of people.
Ofcourse, the intensity varies from person to person. It is strikingly evident in cases of broken relationships or even for that matter , in friendships that didnt work out. sometimes, people just fall apart for no apparent reason. Some of us are able to move on very easily after the initial jerks but for some, it is a daunting task indeed. I have come across people who take the 'parting of ways' as a natural course of a relationship and move on, sooner than expected. And I have also seen people who have an exceedingly long mourning period. According to me, both are abnormal. The former denotes that the person was never really participating in that relationship with his heart and soul and the latter shows that the person is so Head over Heels that every feeling, every emotion of his life is invariably connected with a single individual. As if, nothing else matters to him in life. Which is bullshit......
The grief comes from losing a person but more importantly it comes from the fact that we are suddenly thrown out of our comfort zone. All of a sudden, you realise that now there is no one who can anticipate your every move, your every mood. We are inadvertantly addicted to such a person who can read our mind, follow our thoughts and accompany us through the difficult terrain of life. and its not neccessary that the person should be able to do all this. A recent event made me realise that love is not when we like a person because he/she is good, true love is when you know that the person has some bad qualities and inspite of that fact you like him/her, irrespective of what the world says. Whatever the reason, when this beautiful world of fantasy is struck by the stone of reality, everything comes crashing down, and then starts the withdrawal period.
When we get addicted to someone, we end up giving him the ultimate power to destroy us. I wonder whether it is even possible to be disconnected and still maintain a relationship. I mean, to be with a perso and still not get addicted to him/her. For that, you need to be an exceptionally evolved human being or a highly ignorant person. To maintain that kind of distance is especially difficult for people who have extremes of personality, meaning that if these people love, they'll do it with whole of their heart and soul and if they hate, they'll hate with every ounce of guts they have. No middle ground.
But if you ask me, why to unnecessarily fall into this addiction crap? cant we just skip the ugly stuff and enjoy every moment as it comes? Maybe the answer is that simple. Being a coffee addict myself, I can tell you that if someone asks me to consume only 2 cups instead of the usual 5, I'll definitely go into withdrawal...! Similarly, a baby doesnt know how much sugar is sweet and how much is less sweet. We are responsible for formulating our perceptions. It is for us to decide how much is too much. We have to draw a line somewhere.
Then there is also the fact that people change, their priorities change. You cannot possibly expect that you will have the topmost priority in someone's life all the time. We have this irrational belief and groundless hope that nothing will ever change. The emotion you feel towards a person is dependant on the perceptions you hold at that point of time. Then, invariably there is anger, frustration and desperation if your feelings are not reciprocated by the other person.
All that said and done, its human to expect. We all have a certain degree of expectations from people and from situations. It needs immense amount of self control not to fall into this addiction trap. Everybody knows the adverse effects of smoking and alcohol still people indulge into it. Same way, we all know that it is not a good idea to get addicted to someone but still we cant help it....!!!!!!!!!
All that I am saying is-- there should be some moderation.