LOST AND FOUND...
It was just one of those days... When nothing was going right. I am sure all of us, at some point of time go through this when it feels as if, the whole world is conspiring against us, trying with all their worth to make our life miserable and bad to worse. You reach just a couple of minutes late and you miss the bus, your boss fires you for no reason, your friends seem to be unusually busy with their own lives, you lose your wallet with all the possible cards inside, your boyfriend/girlfriend...well, I better not get into that... I am so prejudiced right now. The point is, the world just seems unfair.
Its O.K to get these days once in a while but when these happen in an unusual succesion, then you seriously start questioning your own beliefs. And belive me, Exams are just a cherry on top. How can somebody judge you when you yourself are in such a miserable state of mind. That friends is a perfect recipe for disaster.
Anyways, after facing the anxiety, anticipation and disappointment and living in no man's land for the last four months, I finally decided to take matters in my own hands and address some serious issues which I had been putting off since long. Maybe I was afraid to face them or maybe because I was afraid to accept the fact that I could ever be stuck in such a pathetic situation in life. So I decided to take a walk. There was a void inside me, a vaccum and I just could'nt figure out what I had lost.
There are four stages of coming to terms with the reality.....whatever that might be- Denial, Anger, Grief and lastly Acceptance.
I guess all the terms are self explainatory and I am damn sure each of us is at some stage or the other at this very moment. I was finally on the terminal stage and it was about time I searched a cause for my despair. When I think retrospectively, I realise that all these seemingly tedious and apparently overwhelming problems were present since time immemorial and life was still going on. So what has really changed ? And then it struck me, out of the bluemoon, in that eureka moment I realised that it was not the world that was becoming worse to live in, it was me who was becoming incapable of fighting the odds, swimming against the tide, making things happen. That void inside me once contained the passion to live life which I seem to have lost in the recent past. Just because we face failure in one little square of life, we let the negativity percolate into other squares as well. We let such petty things screw us up when we would've been able to handle them so easily prior to giving in to such negativism. Life is an active process and the problem starts when we turn passive and let things happen to us instead of making things happen.
There is an altogether different kind of charm to people who live with a passion in life. They love everything they do. Their heart is in the right place. They have the power to turn destiny around and take adversity in its face. This is what sets them apart from common people like us. Their succes is effortless, one of its kind. If we look at all the successful poeple in their respective fields, we'll realise that even after all these years of being successful, they still have that passion of improving themselves and making life more meaningful. A cricketer should always have that same spark in his eyes that he had when he made his debut, a lawyer should always be delighted to see a courtroom full of people, a couple should always love each other the same way when they first realised they love each other and a doctor should treat each and every patient of his with the same zest he had when he first entered the gates of a medschool.
There will be days when you wake up in the morning, hoping that atleast this day will be better than yesterday, with a firm belief that nothing worse can possibly happen now and by the time you go to bed, life shows you just how much can go wrong and how much you have to lose. But inspite of all this, you must believe you can do this. It doesnt matter how often you have failed in the past, what matters is focusing on what you want and taking consistent action towards it. Learn to put a smile on your face and give it all you have. Because believe it or not people, this world does not have any place for the emotionally dead. You will eventually be replaced by someone who chose to live passionately.
I know its easier said than done and some events alter you as a person-- emotionally and psychologically. Some part of you just dies when life unexpectedly brings your way the harsh reality of this world. We can never be the same again, that side of our personality is lost forever. But believe me, we have no option but to gather ourselves up , pick up the broken pieces and start all over again. Because the worst reality of all is that Life goes on... It is equally true that you cannot pretend to be happy all the time, especially in front of poeple who know you well but you can just hope that someday, the pretending will become your habit and then your nature and maybe, just maybe you will be able to forget what altered you.
Its not easy to differentiate the squares of life, but pretending is atleast better than not trying at all. There is no alternate way to live life or rather should I say, a fruitful life. We cannot be on the plateau of excitement forever but its not fair to be on the nadir of depression either. Life deserves a second chance, even though it doesnt give us any. Just try to eternally ride the crest of an optimistic wave and hope that life brings our way something beautiful and worth cherishing. Life cannot exist without hope. Whatever you do, never lose that baby... coz its going to see you through the toughest of times.
So, just take a walk and hope for the best...!
Stop existing and start living.